Let’s deal with the boring part first just so you can have a bit of necessary background information.
Through my training under Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes of Robbins-Madanes Training, I was introduced to the concept of Human Needs Psychology (I’m not a mental health practitioner) and the Six Human Needs. When you have a better understanding of the Six Human Needs, you’ll have a much better understanding of why you do what you do (including self-sabotaging behaviors) and what led you to make that choice to begin with.
Sidenote: Even though I’m focusing on money, this applies to all areas of your life such as relationships, work, play, health etc.
Here’s the deal, if you are a living, breathing human being-you are going to do whatever it takes to get your needs met (especially the first four), even it means meeting your needs in ways that don’t serve your best interest. And that’s what I’m talking about today. Meeting your needs by making less than optimal decisions and taking unsupportive actions.
- Certainty–the need to feel safe, secure. Predictable. Comfortable. This can keep you stuck–stuck in a low-paying job you hate because of the regular, predictable income. It can keep you from taking chances on-whether they’re investment opportunities. asking for a promotion/raise, speaking up at a meeting when you know you have a great idea, or starting the dog-grooming business you’ve been dreaming of.
- Uncertainty–the need for variety and change. The need for variety can keep you in a constant state of flux and chaos. Jumping from job to job or business to business so that you don’t stick with something long enough to make it work or make money. Or, you live in a constant state of crisis so you don’t have the time, energy, or focus left to give to lucrative income producing opportunities.
- Significance–the need to feel important, unique, worthy, even special. This can cause you to overspend because you feel like the only way you are going be valued or worthy is if you have the latest Channel handbag or Christian Louboutin shoes. Or, you overcompensate your low self-esteem by being a bully–or freaking exhausting the shit out of yourself by becoming indispensable to your family. You know–the Supermom type. She serves healthy, home-cooked meals every night. She’s president of the PTA, cleans the toilet with a toothbrush, has a full-time job, volunteers at the local food bank, and is perfectly put together All. The. Time. She spends so much time trying to be perfect and comparing herself to others that she misses some seriously awesome income opportunities.
- Connection–the need for relationships and a sense of belonging. The need for connection can cause you to bend over backward for other people and lose your identity so you can keep them in your life. The problem with losing your identity (your true identity) is that your gifts often suffer…which ultimately can lead to depression and the inability to make cash money with ease and fun.
- Growth–the need to grow is all about learning, self-improvement, and becoming more skilled. The need to constantly improve and better yourself can keep you in a place of inaction because you never “feel ready” to actually start coaching clients. Or maybe you have a great idea for a business but won’t launch because you need to take one more marketing class so you’re sure you’re getting it right. And let’s face it, therapy, coaching, healing, and classes all cost money…which you’re not making because “you don’t feel ready yet.”
- Contribution–the need to contribute means you’re more focused on helping others than you are to your own needs. You’re determined to leave your mark on the world. This is really beautiful but when you give, give, give without letting yourself receive, you end up burned out and broke. How many more times can you go out for coffee with someone so they can “pick your brain” only to turn around 6 months later and see them driving a brand new Mercedes because of the advice you gave them while you’re still scrambling to make rent?
I think you get my point now. I’m going to leave you with this for the moment so you can take a day to journal and notice whether or not any of this is showing up in your life and if so, how.
I’ll be back with Part 2 and share examples of the Six Human Needs being met in a way that supports lucrative money flows.
If you’d like to explore this further, email me at: Robin@RobinBadler.com and we’ll set up a time to connect.
Much love and abundant blessings,