You Don’t Have to Feel Worthy, You Just Have to Say Yes.

“You don’t have to feel worthy, you just have to say yes. ”  I tell people this all the time and while it often makes them feel better for a minute or two, they don’t believe it.

However, the truth of this statement has been quite apparent in the last few client You don't have to feel worthy, You just have to saysessions I did.  I spoke with several women this week where we spanned different relationships with mothers and men topping the list.

Each of my beautiful clients was looking for different types of support from people in their lives and believed that it wasn’t there because they wanted the support from a specific relationship.  Since it wasn’t coming from that one person, they believed the support wasn’t there and they were sure they weren’t worthy of having it.

Until we dug in and I was able to help them see  and recognize they were getting the support they wanted.  It was just that it was coming from unexpected places.  And it was there even though they didn’t believe they were worthy of having it.

Once you realize that you have what you’re looking for even though you think you’re not worthy of having it, you’ve blown the lid off your belief system.  You can go back to being unconscious and forgetting that it exists, but it’s been recorded by your brain and it’s stored in its memory banks.

You can say you don’t feel worthy of having the support, but you will have to add that you have it anyway.

And that my friends is a huge game changer.

Book an Extract the Passion for getting your own brain-bending insights and discover for yourself that you don’t have to feel worthy, you just have to say yes.

Click here to book in.

Much love and abundant blessings,

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Her happiness is not your responsibility

Most daughters just want their mothers to be happy and they’ll go to great lengths to make that happen.  I remember doing that when my mother was alive and I continued for a few years after she died.  I bet you did something like that too.  You might even still be doing it to some extent.

Here’s just a little of what’s wrong with that:

  1. It’s not your job to make your mother happy.
  2. A daughter believes that if she can make her mother happy, her mother will treat her better a/k/a approve of her a/k/a love her more.
  3. The daughter believes that if she makes herself better and fits into the mother’s impossible mold, that will make the mother happy…or she recognizes that her mother’s mold is impossible and she rebels to the point where she messes up her own life
  4. If the mother is unhappy or judgmental, then the daughter decides that it’s because there is something inherently wrong with her and never consider that there are things that happened which made your mother your mother before you were born.  And it’s those factors that contribute to how loving she is able to be.

Daughters start making these decisions at a really young age.  A daughter learns how to respond to her mother by watching her mother’s face and making eye contact.  If that doesn’t happen, the baby can either shut down or act up.  Either way, this is the foundation for her as she becomes a woman.

And the really sad part is that the core of the mom’s unhappiness never has anything to do with the baby.

not your job

When you are older you can do things that give your mother headaches.  You can stay out all night without telling her, get into drugs, fail at school.  But this is only one time of your life and there’s a difference between a teenager finding her way and a teenager who is acting out in order to get her mother’s attention.

But here’s the deal, if you’re a mom, or an aunt, or pet owner you can relate to what I’m going to ask you.  If your kid, niece/nephew, or pet acts out and misbehaves, do you stop loving them? Or do you just get frustrated?  I’m not saying you might never hit the point to where you don’t like them anymore, but chances are you will continue to love them.

I don’t know where it’s been written that all mothers are healthy and well-balanced.  They’re not.  And not all mothers have the capacity and the ability to love you in a way that makes you feel safe and loved.

And that doesn’t have a damn thing to do with you.

If you want help releasing yourself from the pain of the past, click here to book your Extract the Past Session now.

Much love and abundant blessings,

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Sometimes the Fire Just Pulls at Your Soul

Some of you need to walk through the fire in order to feel like you’ve done something worthwhile.  You thrive on the challenge and find freedom in the pain. And sometimes the fire just pulls at your soul.  Walk through the fire

There are people who make you feel wrong for that.  But what if that’s simply who you are?

I don’t need to agree with your need to walk through the fire.  But if you accept it, instead of trying to be something or someone different, you’ll feel a hell of a lot more alive and be more likely to not only succeed but to feel satisfied with and proud of what you’ve done.

It’s time for you to stop trying to fit into someone else’s mold.

If you want help releasing yourself from the bondage that causes you to keep trying to fit into the wrong mold,  click here to book an Extract the Past Session and be set free.

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How Well-Meaning People Create Your Emotional Demons

Emotional Demons….

What are they?

They’re those little voices in your head that tell you you’re not good enough.

You’re not ready to go pro.

You’ll never make it as an artist.Abstract 014 (2)

You’re never going to meet the right man (or woman).

They’re those voices that boss you around and cause you to say, “It’s not going to work.  Why bother?”

But those voices aren’t real.  They’re a compilation of experiences and things you were told by others (teachers, parents, the media etc) to keep you small and to keep you from trying too hard.  Sometimes they’re spoken in malice, but not always.  Sometimes they are meant to keep you safe.

Safe from what?  Falling.  Failing.  Getting hurt.  But what the well-meaning people who have tried so hard to convince you not to try don’t know, is the pain from never having tried, the pain from keeping your vision locked up inside is deeper and more hurtful than the pain of trying and failing ever will be.

And I really wish I could tell you that if you want something bad enough and if you try hard enough and if you’re good enough at it, you will succeed…but I can’t do that.  I don’t know you, I don’t know how resilient you are, I don’t know what resources you have available or how strong your faith is. There’s a ton of stuff that I don’t know about you that factors into the possibility and probability of your success and happiness.

But what I do know for sure is that if you never ever try, you will go to your grave with regret on your heart.  Is that really your vision for your life? There’s no shame in it if it is…but be honest with yourself so you stop beating yourself up.

And if that’s not the vision for your life, what action are you going to take right now towards your dreams?

And those emotional demons, taking action may or may not slay them, but the more action you take, the less power they’ll have over you.

If you need help with getting past your emotional demons, click her to book your complimentary Slayer session and let’s see how I can help you so you don’t have to do it alone.

Much love and abundant blessings,

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What if you’re not who they say you are?

Perception is a funny thing.  It can completely change the meaning of an entire situation or experience.  For most of my life, the people closest to me saw me as a quitter.  In their eyes, I gave up too easily.  Now, I’m not going to say this was never the truth, but the majority of the time, it wasn’t.

It never took me long to know whether I enjoyed something enough or whether it meant enough to me to stick it out when things got tough.  But that’s not something a kid has the words to express…

That reputation followed me through to my marriage.  But here’s the thing about that, my family indoctrinated that perception of me on my ex-husband.  I never had the chance to show him the truth.

Today, things are different.  I did the work, changed my life and the people in it and now the people who are in my life perceive me as someone who’s resilient.

Ya wanna know the funny part?  I’m no different than I was before.

I know you’re bored with hearing about me, so let me turn this around so that it can help you.

Think about people’s perceptions of you.  Especially your family’s.  How do they make Down And Aroundyou feel?  Do they make you feel good or do they make you feel like you’re lacking something?  Would they say you’re generous or selfish?  Smart or you lack common sense?  Now think about your real perception of yourself.  Do you agree with what they say about you?  If so, is it because you really agree or because you think they’re right?

This is how you begin to figure who you are versus what other people told you are.  And once you figure that out, it’s a hell of a lot easier for you to slay your emotional demons and be yourself,  free, happy, and fulfilled in whatever way that looks for you.

If you need some help sorting this out, schedule your free Slayer with me by clicking here.

Much love and abundant blessings,

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Mothers, Men, & Money

Let’s talk mothers, men, and money.

It’s pretty wild when you think about it, but the fact of the matter is we, as daughters, absorb our mother’s experiences before we’re even born.  And no, that’s not new age mumbo jumbo.  Those are real scientific facts.  (Check out “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine M.D. for the nitty gritty details).

So think about it.  Your brain is a complete blank slate when you’re growing in your momma’s belly.  And your mother’s adult experiences are getting imprinted on this brand new brain that has no experience in the world outside of your safe, little cocoon within her.  Those experiences begin creating neural pathways that may or may not be supportive of your future happiness.  And, they are creating the foundation for your perception of your life.

Those experiences begin creating neural pathways that may or may not be supportive of your future happiness.  And, they are creating the foundation for your perception of your life.

My mom has been gone for around 12 years now so I couldn’t really ask her about what went on during the time she was pregnant with me.  My dad (who is not my birth dad) was able to shed some light on that time.

My birth father traveled for months at a time so she went through a good part of her pregnancy alone.  Besides that, there were some crazy money issues in her world.  The more I discovered about that time, the more I understood me, my money, and the men I’ve been attracted to.

I have done a lot of work to clear that bullshit and I’m happy to say that I’m no longer repeating my version of my mother’s life anymore.  Can I get an Amen?

Sit down with your mom today and see if you can find out about any of her life experiences from pregnancy until you were around 2 or so.  If you can’t talk to your mom, see if there is anyone else in your life who can shed some light on that time of your lives.  Then, spend some time journaling about it and see what shows up for up you.

And don’t forget, today’s the day for On the Wings of Your Mother.  I’d for you to join us so you can heal and release some of the unsupportive patterns you inherited from your mom.

Click here to sign up.

Much love and abundant blessings,

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She’s Human, Too

For most of my childhood, my hair was the bane of my mother’s existence.  It was so curly and frizzy that it grew out and up instead of down, no matter how long it was.  I remember her telling me I looked like I should have a bone in my hair like the cavemen (things were not very PC 50 years ago)

Here’s the thing about that, she was doing nothing more than expressing her frustration with my hair.  The way the little girl me took it was that I was too much work for my mother.  That my hair wasn’t pretty enough for her and, therefore, I wasn’t pretty enough for her.  And that no matter how good I was, it was never going to be enough.

I WAS NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH FOR MY MOTHER.

As an I adult, I know this is the farthest thing from the truth…but you could never tell that to my little kid mind.  But it’s these seemingly innocent remarks that have been made by our mothers that shape the foundation from which built who we are today.

It’s these seemingly innocent remarks that have been made by our mothers that shape the foundation from which built who we are today.

Think back to your childhood.  What “innocent” remarks did your mother make about you that you carried into adulthood? How is it affecting your life?  If you’re a mom, how is it affecting your kids’ lives?

Journal about it so you can see where your limiting beliefs were seeded.  That’s the first step to letting them go.

And let’s go deeper into releasing those beliefs.  Thursday, May 11, 2017 is fast approaching.  Join me online for On the Wings of the Mother so you can finally be free of the pain of not feeling good enough for your mother and everyone else in your life.

Click here to sign up.

Much love and abundant blessings,

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